Criticisms; do you feel better for saying that?


Commence rant.

Yesterday, I thought I would reach out and try to connect with fellow hamster-lovers using a forum. Put it this way, my experience was far from a pleasant one (hence I am furiously tapping this out at 1:30am).

All was going well, these people LOVE hamsters, these people are on my wavelength – perfect!
So there is me, typing away. I introduce myself, introduce the hams, post a few pictures and explain the story of the babies, blah blah blah. Its going great! These people, like me, enjoy talking about their hamsters and all that jazz.

That enjoyment lasted about 45 minutes.

Then the criticisms started flowing. I mean this wasn’t just one person disagreeing with an aspect of my ownership; It was as if as soon as one person pointed something out, the floodgates opened and I find myself being bombarded with comments. “Their cage is too small, I’m irresponsible, I should never have done this and that” If anyone of them read half of this blog, or even just spoke to me a little more, they could see Im not some neglectful person who mistreats my hamsters.. I felt so enraged.

NOW, where do I begin.
I join this community of people all with the same interest and I barely have my foot in the door when I get made to feel unwelcome, unconfident and even a little bit guilty!
First off, ‘their cage is too small for syrian hamsters.’ I have nothing to be guilty about -their cage is definitely not too small; its the UKs best selling hamster cage, why the hell would that be if its SOOOOO unsuitable for hamsters hmm? The cage’s description off the Pets at Home website states ‘suitable for dwarf hamster or one syrian’.
I can assure you I will not be rushing out to buy an £80 mansion for each of my hamsters when they are perfectly happy where they are. They have their spacious cage, they have room to run and hide and play – where’s the problem?
I have had many hamsters before Dexter and Eve, all in similar (if not slightly smaller) cages, and they all lived to well over 3 years old. If they are in such cramped and horrible conditions why would they have lived so long and so healthily for that matter?

Another thing, ‘Im so irresponsible for breeding the hamsters. The babies died and its my fault – look what Ive put the mother hamster through!’
Stop. Right. There.
You say you love hamsters? I have lost 13 babies in the past month, you think I don’t feel guilty and upset about that enough without someone telling me I’m irresponsible and in the wrong in the first place for letting her have babies!??!
Sorry but where is the support in that! People breed hamsters all the time and are waaaay less prepared than myself! So to accuse me of all this when I simply shared my story, is hurtful.
My pet lost her babies. I lost 13 pets. A little bit of kindness would go a long way when someone is in that situation, whether you know the person or not!
Instead I get criticized and blamed.

So thank you random stranger for crushing my confidence and thank you again for making me feel guilty about how I treat my pets. Ever heard of the phrase ‘if you dont have anything nice to say…’ ??? I am all for sharing tips and advice on hamster-y stuff but there was absolutely no sense of constructiveness in these comments! Just blunt words.

Apologies for my rant. Needed it off my chest – its what a blog is for right? 😉
xxx

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Categories: animals, Care, General, Hamsters, Pets | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on “Criticisms; do you feel better for saying that?

  1. How very disappointing for you. Some forums are obviously closed cliques. Try another when you get the courage up. There are surely like-minded, nice people out there!

    • Thats what went on here me thinks. Thought people would grow out of ‘gang-up on the new kid’ thing. 😐 mmm, I shall lick my wounds for a bit and see where it takes me from there:) x

  2. Never.do.forums 🙂 The same with youtube comments. It’s made for people who are negative and enjoy making other people feel bad, but don’t dare to do it in person. They are pathetic, don’t listen to them. You are a great pet owner!

    • Hahaha, you couldnt be more right! I found myself trying to defend my decisions to a bunch of people who judge me within 5 minutes. Not worth my time! 🙂 Nawwwr thank you 🙂

  3. Agree with everyone above – I used to be part of a forum where it was common practice to single out a female and berate her until she either left or grew an iron skin and really watched what she posted. It took me a while to figure out that they /just/ weren’t worth it. Not all forums were created equally. Some are lovely, positive places, and some are breeding grounds for bile and immaturity.

  4. I agree, forums are not always the kindest places, but maybe you can find a better one later. I’ve enjoyed reading your positive, kind-hearted blog!

    • Thank you so much for the comment and visit 🙂 I am definitely treading carefully about what I say now. I even noticed a few other people being completely ganged up on over expressing an opinion.
      Staying well away from that aspect of it and just trying to share an interest with like-minded people now.

  5. WOW! What an ugly bunch of meanies. I’d sic my dog on them, but she doesn’t know what that means, and would probably kiss them which they do NOT deserve. So sorry you had to be exposed to all that.

    • Hahaha no licks for the meanies. 😛 The dont deserve such heartfelt affections ;D I am so used to such wonderful people, AND doggies, on here, I forgot people can be a-holes.

  6. Thats awful! I can’t believe they said those things. It must have been hard to loose all those little babies, its unfair for them to blame you. Looking over your site says you love your animals very much its very obvious you take care of them well. Keep loving your little fuzzy friends! Ignore all the haters.

    • It was horrible and I think its fair to say the dedicated followers on the blog who were with me, virtually, step by step through the whole ordeal would also be quiet hurt by these statements. I took precautions, I did no end of reasearch and after everything one person can still spoil things by placing the blame. Noone is to blame for birth-defects. urghhh – got me so riled up! So glad to have so much reassurance through here. I will ignore them indeed!! 😀

  7. Hi again, just wanted to let you know that I enjoy your blog so much, I’ve given it an award. You can pick it up at my blog. http://innerhomestead.wordpress.com/2012/08/16/sunshine-award/
    Keep up the good work!

  8. I am sorry that someone has been so cruel to you. Take no notice. It’s obvious you look after them well. Once I spoke a rescue centre about getting a rescue guineapig and they said the cage was not to the required RSPCA size and so turned me down. Apparently lots of pet shops sell cages that are smaller than the RSPCA recommends. I have one from Pets at Home too. Like you, I have had guineapigs before and they often live to a good age. They are cleaned every day. Have fresh vegetables at least twice a day, fresh water, loads of piggy mix and have cuddles. (I often think they eat better than me.) Yes they should have room to move about freely but it’s about quality of life, the care, attention and love we give our pets. The lengths we would go to to ensure their health, safety and wellbeing. Like you say, if the cages are not the right size, then how can these pet shops legally sell them and say they are suitable for animals. If our cages are too small, these people should be raising their grievance with the pet shops, not us, as we look after and love our pets loads and people should be able to see that through the things we do for them and the care, love and attention we give to them.

  9. Pingback: New Month, New Direction? « Hamster Diaries

  10. Jamie

    I’m sorry for your loss. Its not your fault. Not in any way. Similar events happened to me when I bred my pet Syrian hamsters 10 yrs ago. I was young.

    She had 13 pups. On day 3 she killed one pup, I figured shed just had to many or it just died. On day 10 I found her slowly killing the bunch. I took the remaining 6 live babies, so helpless and kept them warm and even had them next to my bed all night, waking to feed them etc.

    The mom was nuts so I covered her cage to allow her to rest After take ng the litter. I took my babies (now) and put them in a tupperware on a heating pad on low chexking the temp every 20 mins. Tjey were with me 24/7 I sprinkled all sorts of veggies/fruits/hamster food in with them. I only wish I could a saved more babies.

    They did great and grew up perfectly. I adopted them all out keeping one. I do believe the mom & dad were siblings and it may have been a issue. It was a great experience once I was past the hard part with the mom. I cherished it even tho it was rocky at first.

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