If you are a human being and if you want to know how to get that hourglass figure, then you should click here because this blog post is not for you.
I probably should have mentioned in the title that I’m not talking about the hourglass figure for humans. With a blog called Hamster Diaries did you seriously think I’d post about human dieting? Don’t be daft! This is the hourglass figure diet for HAMSTERS.
When looking through my picture folder at the thousands of photographs (yep, genuinely several thousand), I saw a picture of Casper rocking the figure that women around the globe would die for. Kim Kardashian, you got nothing on this guy!!
So lets have a look at the hottie himself
HOW DO YOU LOOK SO FABULOUS DARLING?!!?
So for all you green-eyed hamsters out there, here is the hamster hourglass diet breakdown.
There is a very simple 3-step system to the hamster diet (remember: this is only to be undertaken by hamsters, mice, gerbils, rats and guinea pigs) so all you furries out there listen up!!!
Step 1: Food
Breakfast – 1 to 2 cheek full of hamster muesli and no more, or less, than 6 mouthful licks of the water dispenser.
Elevensy’s – half a cheek full of muesli (nap with the crunchy stuff in your cheeks until lunch so that your slobbery cheeks soften the hardest bits)
Lunch – another cheekfull of muesli AND the softest bits stored from your cheeks. Take a good 10 licks of the water dispenser. Squeak at your human until they feed your a treat. Preferably a yoghurt drop. Coz they’re totally yum.
Afternoon Tea – Have a good 4 to 5 slurps of water and retire back to bed until its dark in your cage.
Dinner Time – Sit in your food bowl and scoff as much into both cheeks as humanly possible. The fatter the better for this stage. Store half of your scavenged goodies in your bed for midnight nibbling ease. Fill the rest of your belly up with water.
Midnight Snack – Nibble some of that food you stored earlier. Leave the food bowl bee. Also lick the water dispenser as loud as you can until your human squeaks at you.
Step 2: Exercise
The exercise routine for this diet is very strict and must be completed daily.
3+ hours on the wheel/saucer. Work up a sweat.
1+ hour of monkey bar climbing.
30 minutes + of mountain climbing on your human.
Step 3: Peeing
Release all that excess water weight at every opportunity. Especially when being held by your human – they LOVE it when you wee on them. . . . .
So there you go!! That is how you small furries can get that hourglass figure. Seriously, this is from Casper’s mouth – this is exactly what he did to get them gorgeous hips and tincy waist…
If only it were as humanly simple eh.
FETCH ME A FLYING SAUCER!!